Lets get over the serious stuff first Weigh in 141Kg or 310lb, under 300 is not far away. This last weight loss journey of mine because it will be my last I have very small goals and no time limit. Some people set themselves a time to lose a certain amount of weight that does not work for me. I found this out trying to do some of the Sparkpeople challenges in my team I didn't cope with the time limits for some reason my body loses weight in Chunks and plateaus or even goes up in between. I weigh myself every day this keeps me accountable but I don't worry too much about what it says as I know that my weight can fluctuate up to 3 kilo's or 6lb overnight I just put it down to that's interesting and keep at it I have become very accepting of my strengths and weaknesses and I play to my strengths and keep away from my weaknesses. This is not a competition in how good my willpower is, its about learning about myself and accepting who I'am and dealing with why I feel the need to eat to excess and what it means to me to lose weight be healthy and deal with emotions in a different way.
Exercise this is the first thing I let go when I get stressed or short of time and the weird part is that I really enjoy exercise. It makes me feel so much better I like the feeling of being fit and energetic. I like feeling strong and I have a competitive nature. I believe its because I was always a big girl so there was no real expectation of me to do well at sport and that meant that I don't have any expectations that I will succeed at an exercise program.
My parents followed my younger brothers sport because they had the potential for playing the higher grades and playing for Australia which they did, because there was no expectation of me to do well I wasn't followed or given the attention I craved so when it comes to exercise I have no real expectation of doing well or receiving attention for my efforts I find exercise a chore because I feel there is no reward I need to change my way of thinking and understand the reward that exercise will give me in this time of my life. I don't need to be good at it or be the fastest the most skilled the one that wins the game. I just need to do it and the reward will come, the reward will be a personal best the feeling of being strong and fit, the only person I need to compete with is myself.
Do you have that feeling everybody is looking at me, I don't look right in workout clothes, why am I out in public puffing and panting sweating getting a rash in all sorts of places and feeling really uncomfortable and out of place. I shouldn't be here I don't fit in with the rest I am making a spectacle of myself. I will never be able to do that well enough I am not this sort of person I don't work out its too hard why am I doing this to myself. I know exactly how you feel but remember it won't always be like this you will get better and be better ask for help employ a personal trainer for a few sessions if you can, just start and make sure you tell people what you are doing and you will find you will get plenty of help and advice and encouragement, there are some really good people out there that are only too happy to help.
Exercise is essential in a weight loss program but it needs to suit you and your lifestyle and you need to be able to do it forever, there are all kinds of exercise you can do for some it will be moving more, for others it will be dedicating 30mins a day to walk, for others it will be some type of gym. The benefits of exercise far outweigh all the excuses we can find not to do it and it really needs to be a part of our lives if we are to keep the weight off.
I like to swim and I got back into the pool today after not swimming for a month or so my only excuse is that I have been studying and working but I realise more and more that just because I have a very strange expectation that I have to be good at it to do it. I must schedule exercise as a part of my life. I don't have to be the best I just have to do it.
Have a great day
Ann
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