Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Excercise Excercise Ugh!!!!

Lets get over the serious stuff first Weigh in 141Kg or 310lb, under 300 is not far away. This last weight loss journey of mine because it will be my last I have very small goals and no time limit. Some people set themselves a time to lose a certain amount of weight that does not work for me. I found this out trying to do some of the Sparkpeople challenges in my team I didn't cope with the time limits for some reason my body loses weight in Chunks and plateaus or even goes up in between. I weigh myself every day this keeps me accountable but I don't worry too much about what it says as I know that my weight can fluctuate up to 3 kilo's or 6lb overnight I just put it down to that's interesting and keep at it I have become very accepting of my strengths and weaknesses and I play to my strengths and keep away from my weaknesses. This is not a competition in how good my willpower is, its about learning about myself and accepting who I'am and dealing with why I feel the need to eat to excess and what it means to me to lose weight be healthy and deal with emotions in a different way.

Exercise this is the first thing I let go when I get stressed or short of time and the weird part is that I really enjoy exercise. It makes me feel so much better I like the feeling of being fit and energetic. I like feeling strong and I have a competitive nature. I believe its because I was always a big girl so there was no real expectation of me to do well at sport and that meant that I don't have any expectations that I will succeed at an exercise program.

My parents followed my younger brothers sport because they had the potential for playing the higher grades and playing for Australia which they did, because there was no expectation of me to do well I wasn't followed or given the attention I craved so when it comes to exercise I have no real expectation of doing well or receiving attention for my efforts I find exercise a chore because I feel there is no reward I need to change my way of thinking and understand the reward that exercise will give me in this time of my life. I don't need to be good at it or be the fastest the most skilled the one that wins the game. I just need to do it and the reward will come, the reward will be a personal best the feeling of being strong and fit, the only person I need to compete with is myself.

Do you have that feeling everybody is looking at me, I don't look right in workout clothes, why am I out in public puffing and panting sweating getting a rash in all sorts of places and feeling really uncomfortable and out of place. I shouldn't be here I don't fit in with the rest I am making a spectacle of myself. I will never be able to do that well enough I am not this sort of person I don't work out its too hard why am I doing this to myself. I know exactly how you feel but remember it won't always be like this you will get better and be better ask for help employ a personal trainer for a few sessions if you can, just start and make sure you tell people what you are doing and you will find you will get plenty of help and advice and encouragement, there are some really good people out there that are only too happy to help.

Exercise is essential in a weight loss program but it needs to suit you and your lifestyle and you need to be able to do it forever, there are all kinds of exercise you can do for some it will be moving more, for others it will be dedicating 30mins a day to walk, for others it will be some type of gym. The benefits of exercise far outweigh all the excuses we can find not to do it and it really needs to be a part of our lives if we are to keep the weight off.

I like to swim and I got back into the pool today after not swimming for a month or so my only excuse is that I have been studying and working but I realise more and more that just because I have a very strange expectation that I have to be good at it to do it. I must schedule exercise as a part of my life. I don't have to be the best I just have to do it.

Have a great day

Ann

Sunday, October 11, 2009

Keep on Keeping on

I wanted to talk about being able to continue the journey of weight loss and how do I keep going everyday without throwing in the towel. How do I keep it as a priority everyday when life can get in the way.

It has been a tough month for me and I am sure that everybody has these I have been back at University for a couple of months and I have one month to go its a very intensive way of doing things they cram a lot of work into a very short period of time and as always I had the best intentions for the semester and started off really well for the first month started slipping badly in the second month so here I am now having to put some serious work in for the last month were I have assessment due and exams to sit.

Weight loss can be like this as well the one thing that I let slip is my exercise it seems to be the one thing that I let go as soon as things get a bit tough and really its the one thing I should make sure is a part of my daily schedule like getting out of bed or having a shower. Because I always feel better after, very positive the endorphins check in and things look great for the rest of the day.

I have struggled this month with life in general, getting me into situations I would much rather avoid, being late with assessment not as switched on at work and not doing any where near enough exercise so I will now have to start again with my fitness. Is this a big reason why I am overweight or does being overweight contribute to the anxiety and depression maybe this is a question for the scientific researchers. Does my personality contribute to me being overweight or does the fact that I am overweight contribute to the feelings of anxiety and depression.

I have a stubborn streak and I am sure it contributes to the situations I get into and it is not good for my weight loss as well as being a problem for my health as my body does not like certain foods. I have all the best intentions to lose weight and be healthy but sometimes I break out I get what I call stubborn and I go well why can't I eat what I want to why can't I have that cheese cake or chocolate bar I deserve a treat just like anybody else I am sick of this and I break out as I did yesterday and I am paying for it today. Is this just the child in us throwing a tantrum and stamping our feet and feeling really silly for being so obnoxious and indulgent. I think it is exactly what I do every binge is just throwing a tantrum against the world and all those tantrums do is hurt me but then again sometimes I need to express how I am feeling I just need a better way of doing it.

Recognising that's what we are doing helps allot and next time when I decide to throw a tantrum I need to do it differently, call a friend, put on some really loud music do some exercise yell at the traffic I need to find a better way of expressing my feelings and anxiety because shoving inappropriate food in my mouth is not working for me.

My weight loss journey has been full of surprises, I have been focusing on myself and why I do things and how I use food for a lot of other things not just as nutrition. It can be a little uncomfortable facing things about yourself you had ignored or had swept under the carpet. If I want to be successful I have to face a lot of those things that are uncomfortable because eating has been my way of hiding them and if I am not hiding the things that make me feel uncomfortable with food I have to find another way to deal with emotions and situations that I normally would use food to deal with.

My attitude is that I may have a day every now and again that I don't do so well with my calories and what I eat but if I can have more days doing well living a healthy lifestyle eating foods that I know are good for me and doing some deliberate exercise I will string a few of them together and then a week and then a month it has been about six weeks now since the last time so with a bit of luck over a period of time my indulgences will be kept for special occasions and not be a regular occurrence.

So to improve my health and lose the weight I want to lose I needs to just Keep on Keeping on, make changes when I need to and remember what I have learned about myself and living a healthy lifestyle and practice being healthy everyday.

Have a great day

Ann